Pick-up lines 101 with the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain
by Robin J. Lee
Summary: Sort of sequel to my last story. Just a fun comedic One-shot about Oliver Wood. Please Read ) Oliver Wood finds himself in desperate need of a girlfriend.


**A/N: **Since a lot of people liked my last story, I've decided to write another one, this time featuring Oliver Wood =) Enjoy!

Oliver Wood found himself in a predicament. It was not common for him to be in such a state, which was the reason he was eager to fix it. Oliver Wood was in desperate need of a girlfriend.

Even though Wood was certain that he would have absolutely no troubles finding one with his charm and good looks, he wanted to be sure and suave. First, he made a list of potential victims… er.. pardon, girlfriends.

He decided to work his way down, one by one. After all, one of them was bound to say yes.

After careful planning, Wood confronted his first victim, who just so happened to be Angelina Johnson. "Oi! Angelina!" He called after her after Quidditch practice. "What?" She shouted back, jogging towards him. Wood patiently waited until she stood in front of him. He 'shyly' looked down and bit his lower lip sexily, just like he had practiced. "Are you a golden snitch? 'Cause I've been searching for someone like you my entire life." Angelina looked at him in disbelieve. There was a brief silence. Then Angelina scoffed. "Did you really think that that would've worked on me?" Without another word, she turned her back on him and jogged towards the castle. Oliver shrugged. He still had 5 more people on his list. No need to panic. Yet.

His next victim was Alicia Spinnet. He managed to catch her while she was in the library looking at the new Nimbus broom catalog. Wood walked towards her with a confident smile and whispered in her ear "Save a broom, ride a Quidditch player" Alicia's head snapped up "YOU FILTHY PIG!" she screeched at him. Wood gave her a shoulder shrug paired with a suave smile. A loud _smack _was heard throughout the library as Alicia slapped him. Then she angrily stomped out of the library. Oliver nursed his cheek. Crap. At least he still had 4 more people on his list. Still no need to panic.

Oliver decided to head to the Hospital Wing due to his throbbing cheek also Katie Bell (his next victim) had fallen ill and currently resided there. "Hey Katie! Feeling better?" he said as he entered the Wing. He sat down on the chair next to her bed. "A bit." She replied. "You know, Katie, I've been thinking" "What about?" "I was wondering, if I were a Seeker and you were a snitch, would you let me catch you?" Katie smiled at him sweetly and Wood was sure that she'd say yes. Then her eyes narrowed "No" "but whyyyy?" Wood whined. "Did you honestly think that you could hit on both of my best friends without me hearing about it?!" Damn. He'd forgotten about that. "Get. Out." Katie said with controlled anger. Oliver didn't hesitate and left the hospital wing as quickly as possible.

Oliver knew precisely where his next victim would be located. Without further hesitation, he went to the Hogwarts Library. Like predicted Hermione Granger sat at her usual table, reading her usual book (Hogwarts: A History). He plopped down across from her. Hermione looked up startled. "Hey, Wood. What can I do for you?" she said nervously. Wood didn't say anything at first but just fixated his gaze on her, analyzing her. Hermione turned red and started cowering behind her book. "Hermione?" "Y..yes?" She said hesitantly. "It looks like you need someone to look after you." Hermione frowned and looked at him in confusion. "And babe, I'm a keeper" He said with a superior smile. "Pardon?" "I'm asking you if you want to be my girlfriend!" "Um… No." Wood's smile faded. "Fine" "I'm sorry. It's just that I like somebody else" Wood nodded "And I'm sure you'd be a great boyfriend" Wood nodded again. Just as she opened her mouth to say something again, Wood snapped "Oh my god, Hermione! Shut up!" Hermione blushed mumbled something under her breath and hid behind her book. Wood left the library and sighed in exasperation. He only had two more girls left.

He found Ginny Weasley in the common room. "Ginny!" He called to her. Curiously she came up to him and cocked her head sideways. "Hey, Gin. I just wanted to tell you, if you were a quaffle and I was a chaser, I'd totally score with you" "What are you getting at?" She responded in a bored voice. "I…" Wood was at a loss for words. "I was just wondering if you'd be my girlfriend…" "No. I have higher standards and you," She said eyeing him up and down "do not make the cut." She spun around on her heel and strode up the stairs to the girls' dormitory. Wood sighed. Now there was only one girl left on his list. Not really his first choice, but worth a shot. Conveniently for him, his victim was also located in the common room.

"Oi, Lavender. Come here a second!" Lavender Brown bounced towards him, her curls jumping up and down. "What?" she said in a bubbly voice. Wood looked her up and down and titled his head sideways. "You look like you'd be a good Quidditch player. Want to ride my broomstick?" He said with a suggestive wink. Lavender squeaked with joy. "I'd _love_ to! Let's go down to the Quidditch pitch right now!" With that, she had dragged him out of the common room and out of the school. Lavender Brown certainly wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, but if was certainly better than nothing.


End file.
